The little things...

As I move through this transformation, I realize that I should probably give you all some idea of the little things one can and CAN'T do in the weeks following surgery. 

After 6 weeks, it's come to my attention just how far I've come in regard to things I CAN and can't do. :-) 


I was never really "enlightened" ahead of time as to the simplest things I couldn't do after the surgery.  Everyone is different, so this is simply MY list of things I couldn't do without help.

• Open doors - almost any doors! - the car door, store doors, baby gates, my own back door - any door that takes ANY amount of pressure to open or shut becomes an OBSTACLE. 
• Work seat belts!  I had to ask for help getting my seat belt OFF!  I could clip it on, but the pressure used to push that orange button to release the belt was impossible!  Usually, I could ask whomever was driving me around to do it, but

When the driver would get out too quickly and start walking away from the car, it became pretty embarrassing and downright funny!  I would sit there, trapped, staring at the person as they walked away, hoping they would look back and realize that I wasn't following along!  You can't even really wave without hurting yourself.  This happened quite a few times.  You feel like a toddler in a car seat, waiting for mommy to get you out!

• Get things off shelves, any shelves above your chest height!  You may not realize how many things you keep up higher than your chest, but you WILL SOON!  This is something to think about before you go in the hospital.  I often didn't have anyone to help, and in haste would strain my pectoral muscles to the point of them swelling the size of eggs.  The swelling is very painful and takes days, even weeks to subside, so if you can avoid this, DO!  My friend kept a step stool in the kitchen so that she could reach things easily. 
• Carry a purse!  If you are someone who carries a big purse full of everything but the kitchen sink, STOP!  Lighten the load as much as possible, or break it down into two bags, like a make-up bag, and a wallet with just the necessities (money and ID).  I tried all sorts of different methods, draping it across, backpack style, switching shoulders often, none of which worked. 

One woman I know used a fanny pack until she was completely healed.  I just couldn't rock the fanny pack! LOL  But, it definitely solves this issue.

• GET UP AND DOWN FROM A SITTING POSITION!!!  This by far was the most annoying and painful difficulty without using my arms to push, pull, lean on, etc.  It reminded me a lot of pregnancy.  Remember how it was trying to get up from the couch or bed with an 8 or 9 month belly?  Although the dynamics are slightly different, many of the situations mimic the pregnancy way of moving from place to place - that is, a lot of rolling and leaning in odd ways to move your own weight around until the balance allows you to stand upright.  I'm also one who uses my arms as I sit down.  I never realized this until my operation.  I used to grab the chair with my arms and lower my body into it slowly and gently.  Well, no longer do I sit gracefully! 

I began just FALLING into whatever position I wanted to be in.  It's funniest when I get into the recliner I sleep in.  The recliner is broken and won't go down.  In order to get into it without using my arms at all, I have to walk around to the arm of the recliner and throw myself over it, BUTT FIRST, hoping my butt lands in the center, far enough toward the back of the chair!  I am now an expert at the chair jump (similar to the high jump in track!). 

• Washing my hair!  I thought, "No big deal, I can just lean my head down and kind of rub my hair from my shoulder height, without straining my arms."  That does not work!!!  And, believe me, it makes no difference if you have a hand held shower massage.  You still have to aim the water at your hair.  My friend had a neighbor wash her hair.  If you have money, you can just get it done at the salon every couple of days.  Again, I just strained myself to the point of swelling and soreness every time I washed my hair.  I don't suggest doing this.
• Getting dressed!  They tell you to wear button down shirts.  I opted for zip up hoodies, but zipping tough zippers is very difficult.  Make sure your buttons and zippers are easy to use.  What they forgot to mention was how hard pulling up pants could be.  I ended up wearing sweats and dresses the first 3 to 4 weeks.  I can't tell you how excited I was when I could finally put on a pair of pants or jeans that actually fit nicely, again. 
• OPENING bottled water, or bottled anything for that matter!  I couldn't open any kind of jar or bottle that was "factory sealed" for at least 4 weeks. 

This is really frustrating when it's a bottle of pain meds!!!  You know - the push down while turning kind of caps?!  No way, can you do that in the beginning!

• Then there are the more obvious things you may have already realized - making the bed (IMPOSSIBLE), carrying your laundry to and from the machine, folding your laundry (too much arm movement), pouring a bowl of cereal (even if the milk is low or the container is small, the weight shifting while tipping it to pour can hurt enough to make you drop it!), PEELING A BANANA can even be too difficult. 

This is just a small list of the little things they don't talk about before you go for your mastectomy.  Yes, everyone is different, and not everyone will experience all these little inconveniences.  And, you will survive, even if you don't have much help. 

Each day, I am like a toddler, discovering things I can finally do, again, after days, weeks, months of not being able to do them.  I was so excited the day I was able to get out of the car without any help with my seat belt or the door that I was clapping and jumping up and down - NO ONE in the Target parking lot would join in my excitement?!?!  ;-)  I'm sure I looked absolutely certifiable!

Good luck. 

One more thing - If you are one of us - about to go through all of this - get yourself some pink, breast cancer awerness, survivor stuff, ahead of time.  It's all over the web.  Cafe Press has some nice stuff for very little money.  Once you go through all this, you may start feeling like part of a club, one that goes unnoticed by those who have never a been part of it.  You may start feeling proud and strong for having come through all you have, and want to show your pride in some way. (I haven't been able to do this because of my financial situation, but if you can before surgery, DO! :-)