Yes, TODAY is my 1 year cancer free anniversary. I know I'm supposed to be celebrating, but am I the only woman who's gotten to this point and wanted to cry every time I think about the day i had my double mastectomy exactly 1 year ago? I'm really not sure why the tears well up again and again.
Maybe it's because I lost a chunk of my body that day and have spent a year trying to rebuild it and my life. Maybe it's because it's not over yet. I have 1 more operation (at least) before I can truly move on with my life. Maybe it's because this past year has brought so many challenges, including: a very messy divorce; acquiring the job of my dreams working at the nations most successful, innovative school for students with severe autism and being FORCED to turn it downby my EX husband; and finally the deaths of BOTH my grandparents. (Those are just the highlights.)
That being said, in my mind, I KNOW I have reasons to celebrate! The challenges have also brought triumphs. I have the love of my amazing children, including my daughter who is facing many challenges of her own in Florida, now. I have regained my independence. I now live in my dream home (although I'd rather it be located on the west coast). I have the most fantastic, supportive and loving friends, on both the east and west coasts! I have the most amazing and supportive family. My TWO new jobs are extremely rewarding! The list really does go on and on, but best of all, I've lived another year to enjoy it all! I am cancer free.
Yes, I really do have so much to celebrate, but for today, JUST TODAY, I will grieve for the losses and hardships of this past year.
God bless everyone! May you have as much to be grateful for in the coming year as I have had this past year. XOXO
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